Saturday, February 28, 2009


I have not updated my blog in awhile so I figured I should go back to January and write about my "one word". I had so many come to mind and then after consideration and prayer they changed. I really settled on committed and then through several different ways God showed me that this is the last thing he wants from me.

Committed.. it seems like a good thing to be. I guess it is good in certain areas but God impressed upon me that this was not enough. Commitment is something I control, I decide what I am committed to, how long I am committed for, and to what degree I am committed.

This is not what God is asking from me. He is asking that I surrender my life. This is something different entirely, there is no control. If I truly surrender then I have no say in what God has me do. This is a concept that is hard to wrap yourself around when you take it into your core like God asks. No control? Completely surrendered?

I can honestly say that this has not been my life. I have certainly tried to follow Gods leading. I have committed to things he has asked of me. I have made commitments to myself , my family, and my church to lead a life pleasing to God. These are all things I have decided, I have controlled.

My one word for this year is surrender. I will continue to daily ask the Holy Spirit to break my willfulness and surrender all that I am to the will of God. To say that living like this is crazy is probably an understatement, but it is what God's will is for each of us and I believe the journey He is going to lead me on is so much more than my feeble attempt at life could ever be.

I heard a while ago an analogy about surrender:

A contract is like a commitment. You put down terms and conditions and after both sides agree you sign it .
To surrender is to sign a blank piece of paper and pass it across the table allowing the other party to put whatever they wish.

God this is my signature on a blank paper. I surrender it to you. I pray that I am man enough to listen to and live up to what you write in this contract that is my life.


Friday, November 21, 2008

Am I all in?

Am I all in?

This question has really been on my mind this week. As any poker players know being all in is pushing all you chips in and betting the farm on one hand. The question for me has been have i pushed all my chips in for Christ? Am I holding back a stack because I am worried there is a better hand out there? I think that since I have to ask myself this question the answer must be NO. Jesus is so clear that he wants all of us or nothing but why do I hold back. I KNOW that I have the best hand and am sure to win. WHY CAN'T I PUSH IN THE CHIPS?
This last week we went to Zion Wesleyan Church and after pastor Chris got done sharing their pastor Bill Roy really challenged his church. He was holding us up as an example of being all in for Christ. I was really uncomfortable with that. Am I trying to lead a fully committed life to Christ? Does the work of Christ come first,above ALL else?
I pray that God will help me have the courage to play for keeps. Unlike poker their is only one hand dealt in life. Why am I trying to hold back chips that are going to be of no use? I need to have the audacity to push in my pile and rest in the assurance that I have the best cards.

“Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Early Christmas Shopping

So here is the official sales pitch to anyone I have not already hit up.

For Sale:

A brand new still in the box church. That's right this is your chance to own an eternal share in a killer church that is going to not only rock but is going to change countless lives for untold years. This not only is a wicked good Christmas gift but also an investment to add to your eternal portfolio that will provide dividends for years to come. The church is located in sunny southeastern North Carolina and will provide unlimited opportunities to visit and enjoy. This is no timeshare scam that only provides you with one rainy week in march, you can enjoy your investment anytime of the year. For a more complete description and an opportunity to purchase as many shares as God leads see

I sincerely ask that you pray about supporting our church plant and of course we beg for your prayers.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Everyone says children change your views on your relationship with God. So true. Dawson is now about 15 months beginning to need to be disciplined. It is hard to say the least, but I know it is necessary for his own growth.

I think this is probably how God feels. He knows what is best for us and has to sometimes give us the not so subtle pat on the rear to remind us. God has been making his hand sore on me lately and it is not pleasant. I am thankful however, that my God is patient and willing to stick with me. I am sure He gets tired of saying no, but He still loves me enough to let me mess up, pay the price, learn, and move on.

I pray I have that same love and patience for my son.

Hebrews 12: 7-11

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Job 36: 10-11

10 He makes them listen to correction, and commands them to repent of their evil.
11 If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Hold fast to the vision.

These days are quite exciting for all of us working on bringing God's vision of Crosswinds Church ever closer to reality. As I have struggled in my small human mind with all the what-ifs and no ways, God has continued to tell me to trust. To remain. To persevere.

I have a tendancy to try to put God in a box that my mind can fathom. I see him as only as big as my biggest problem or greatest accomplishment. This of course is not my God! Isaiah 55 tells me His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts for as the heavens are higher than the earth......

I came across that scripture again this week when I really needed it. Man am I glad I cannot fathom God or his plans because honestly mine stink. God has a plan for Crosswinds Church and I know in my heart it is going to be awesome. He has given me a this opportunity to serve him and it is now up to me to not waiver, not to second guess or question, but to believe that He has promised and will deliver.

I found this and wish I could have put it this succinctly:

God promises and he delivers. One can never doubt that in life. There are times when it seems like the end is so close, yet one must remain faithful to the promise and to the vision that God has placed in his heart. To do anything more, to think in terms of doom, to plan for destruction or alternatives is to fail before any kind of failure has occurred.

Psalms 46:13 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, through the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

Isaiah 49:1-4 “Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword , in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.” But I said, “I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.

New Blog

I decided to start this blog because my lovely wife informed me that the family blog was not the place for my random ramblings. So, since I did not feel there was nearly enough clutter on the Internet I decided to add my own. It should never be said that I do not do my part.
I really am using this to journal my walk with God and "put to paper" what He is speaking to me. This is not so much for the rest of the world as it is a way for me to reinforce what I am learning as I grow as a christian, husband, father, and friend.